My Sunnyhell Valentine
by Buffonia
Summary: Begins during the Spike/Dawn scene of "Crush" and moves in it's own direction, Spike and Dawn have a Vday conspiracy...


Title: "My Sunnyhell Valentine"  
  
Author: Buffonia  
  
Email: [1]Buffonia@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing: Spike/Buffy  
  
Summary: Starts at the Spike/Dawn scene of "Crush" but goes off in its own direction. Spike and Dawn have a Valentine's day conspiracy...  
  
Spoilers: Season 5, Crush  
  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned a bleached vamp to snuggle with on V-day...Joss has one. Although I doubt he'll use it for snuggling purposes.  
  
Notes: Spike is single. Harmony is on one of her infamous and mysterious leaves of absence.  
  
* * *  
  
THE BIG PLAN  
  
Spike climbed the ladder from the tunnels, emerging to the surface of his crypt. Little did he notice the feminine presence that watched his every move. Finally, when he raised his face, he saw her, and gasped in surprise.  
  
"Oh it's you," he sighed in relief. Then he frowned. "What are you doing here lurking about?"  
  
"I'm not lurking, I'm looking," Dawn corrected him. "For you."  
  
He gave her an incredulous look. "For me?"  
  
"Why else would I come here?" she asked. "To steal some of your rad decorations or yummy blood packets?"  
  
He rolled his eyes at the Summers' sarcasm that seemed to be genetic. "So why are you looking for me then?"  
  
"I-it's about Buffy," Dawn began hesitantly.  
  
He snapped his lighter shut, and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth. "Buffy? Is she alright?" The concern in his blue eyes was anything but hidden.  
  
"She's fine. Well, you know, she's been majorly down in the dumps since...well since she was majorly dumped." Her voice became a bit quieter as she added, "since Riley left."  
  
"Yeah, well, that's a loss we'll all mourn, pet," he muttered bitterly. "She'll get over Private Boy-Toy at some point, I reckon."  
  
"And I bet you're just heartbroken that they couldn't make it work," Dawn snorted.  
  
Spike frowned again and eyed her suspiciously. "What the bloody hell do you mean by that?"  
  
"Oh please Spike! Bringing her chocolates? Following her around everywhere she goes? Not to mention whenever I look out the window at night, I'm practically blinded by the glare of your head under the streetlight."  
  
Spike winced. "You haven't told Buffy any of this, have you...?"  
  
Dawn grinned and raised a brow. "And what could you do if I did?"  
  
He hopped off of the coffin that he'd been sitting on and leaned into her. "I've got a mate who doesn't have a chip in his head, luv, and wouldn't mind cutting out the eyeballs of little girls who see too much of things that are not for their concern...," his voice was eerily low.  
  
Dawn's eyes widened. "N-no Spike. I w-wouldn't tell her. I'm here to-- to help."  
  
"Help?" He didn't move from his menacing stance over her.  
  
"Look, Buffy's sad. And it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. The day of all days she should *not* be alone playing the crying game. Besides," Dawn continued, crossing her arms smugly, "with me on your side, you totally have a better chance at getting her."  
  
Spike seemed to ponder this a moment, and pulled back with a grin. "Well, that's a corpse of a different color then, i'nit?"  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm home!" Buffy called as she shut the front door behind her.  
  
"Dawn?" Joyce rushed into the foyer.  
  
"No, it's me," said Buffy.  
  
"Is Dawn with you?" Joyce peered anxiously over Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"You mean she's not here?" Buffy asked, mirroring her mother's concern.  
  
Joyce shook her head. "She never came home from school today. Buffy, the news said something about murders..."  
  
"Don't worry, that has nothing to do with Dawn. I'll find her," Buffy said reassuringly and headed back out the door.  
  
* * *  
  
Dawn was sitting cross legged opposite Spike on the large coffin.  
  
"Do you think she'll like it?" Spike asked hopefully.  
  
Dawn gave him a skeptical look. "It's not that she won't like it...it-it's just that...I mean..."  
  
"Out with it, pet, I'm not three bleedin' years old. You don't have to worry about my soddin' feelings," he growled.  
  
"Okay," Dawn sighed. "What I'm trying to say is that it's not her type of present. She won't take it the way you think she might."  
  
"What do you mean? She's the Slayer for cryin' out loud!"  
  
"Spike, if she were an accountant would you buy her a calculator?" Dawn gave him her best you-better-say-no-or-you're-a-dumbass look.  
  
"This isn't just a tool! It a piece of art!" He admired the knife.  
  
"It's very pretty, but she has weapons," Dawn explained lightly. "I mean if you wanted to get her something job-related, you could save her whittling time and get her a bunch of stakes."  
  
"Right, I'll get her a stake. Half a mo, how 'bout I save us all the trouble and just walk out into the sunlight right now." Spike threw her a you-can't-be-serious-or-*you're*-a-dumbarse look  
  
"Sunlight?" Dawn peered at the shabbily covered window and noticed that there were no scratches of light pulling through. "Uh oh," she said weakly, realizing how much time they had lost track of.  
  
The door to the crypt slammed closed and Buffy came rushing in. "Spike, I need your help, Dawn's--" she stopped. "Here. Why is Dawn here?"  
  
"I was gonna walk her home Slayer, I knew you'd be frettin'," Spike apologized.  
  
Buffy seemed to not hear him, her focus was on the knife in his hands. "Wow that's one fun club you guys seem to be starting." Her tone was still care-free but she turned a venomous gaze to Spike. "Dawn, go wait outside," she instructed her sister, not pulling her glare from the vampire.  
  
Dawn winced. "But--"  
  
"Now," said Buffy firmly. Dawn looked to Spike who gave a slight nod. Dawn sighed and slid off the coffin lid and headed out the door.  
  
"Do you really think that knife-enthusiasm is a good choice for someone who used one to slice up her arm last week?" Buffy seethed.  
  
"Buf--Slayer, It's not what you think..."  
  
"I think that my little sister is hanging out with a guy that once tried to kill her," Buffy replied, hands on hips and head cocked to the side challengingly.  
  
"Hey! That was three years ago!" Spike said defensively. "Besides, pet, technically that never happened," he added as an afterthought.  
  
This was hardly the consolation he intended it to be. "I don't want you hanging out with Dawn. Not with sharp objects. Not at all. Or you'll be spending some quality time with *my* weapons. Got it?" she said it through her teeth and still managed to annunciate each word with a large dose of hostility.  
  
He nodded, hating to give in so easily. But even the part of him that wanted to keep her pissed off, because she looked damn hot when she was, reasoned that brassed off slayers don't care to spend Valentine's day over hot cocoa with blokes they hate. And they probably don't shag those blokes either. And he wanted hot cocoa and shagging.  
  
Buffy paused for a minute, as if there was something else that needed to be said. Instead she turned on her heels and stormed out, into the graveyard.  
  
"Buffy, are you mad? You're mad aren't you?" Dawn struggled to keep up with her sister's furious pace.  
  
Buffy stopped and sighed. "Dawn why don't you get that hanging out with a vampire might be bad for your health?"  
  
"We're talking about Spike!" Dawn protested. "He's about as unhealthy as not brushing your teeth. It's not like he can bite me. Besides, you hang with him."  
  
"If by 'hanging with him' you mean 'getting extremely annoyed with the vampire who is trying to kill me by annoying me to death', then, yeah! Good point!" Buffy rolled her eyes and continued walking.  
  
"He's not that bad. He tries to help you, he really does," Dawn began, taking three steps to match her sister's stride. "And you don't always have to take stuff out on him, you know."  
  
Buffy stopped again. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Beating him up and yelling at him for things that are so not his fault," she continued. "You do it all the time. You know you do."  
  
Buffy glanced back in the direction from which they came. "Look, maybe I've been a little...conclusion jumpy sometimes. But I'm usually right."  
  
"He feels bad about the Riley thing," Dawn offered.  
  
Buffy furrowed her brow. "Dawn he's my enemy, he doesn't sympathize with my relationship troubles."  
  
"First of all, why would he be nice to the little sister of his enemy? Secondly, he totally sympathizes with your relationship troubles! I mean you two have the worst luck in love out of everyone I know!"  
  
"Gee, thanks," said Buffy dryly. "And since when did Spike hire you as his PR?"  
  
Dawn bit her lip nervously. "I just think that you need to give him a chance, cut him some slack."  
  
"I think excessive not staking for the past three years, more than qualifies. There's really no more slack left to be cut."  
  
"I'm just saying, it's almost Valentine's Day." Dawn noticed that Buffy's eye twitched at the mention of the holiday. "It's going to be hard for him. Missing Drusilla and all."  
  
"It's not like it's his first one without her...," Buffy commented.  
  
"Well, sure, he had Harmony last year. But, think about it, she never meant as much to him as Dru did. Now he's going to be alone after like a hundred Valentine's Days with her."  
  
Buffy thought about this for a minute. *Lost true love. Year long rebound went to hell. Alone on Valentine's day* "Wow, you're good. You have me feeling bad for a guy whose mouth waters at the Carrie prom scene." Buffy nodded. "Okay, okay, I get your point. I'll lay off the bad cop routine. Now can you go back to being my annoying kid sister?"  
  
Dawn smiled victoriously. "I'll try my best."  
  
"Hey!" said Buffy slowly in realization. "Are those my suede pants?"  
  
"Oh-uh-Mom must have put them in my room by mistake." Dawn turned on her heels and began to walk home briskly with an annoyed Slayer in tow.  
  
* * *  
  
THE BIG DAY  
  
"Giles, maybe I should do more than just cemetery sweeps tonight. Kick up the dusting duty?" Buffy suggested.  
  
"I don't think that's at all necessary Buffy," said Giles as he removed the drawer to the cash register and set it on the display case. "A routine patrol should suffice."  
  
"But there could be demons gung ho about ruining Valentine's Day, or, rather, Valentine's night. You never know," she argued.  
  
"I happen to have it on good authority that tonight is just another night in the demon realm," he said.  
  
"I wouldn't count on that if I were you," Anya warned. Giles seemed baffled.  
  
"See?" Buffy said excitedly. "I've got an ex-demon on my side and all you have is authority."  
  
"The money," Anya stated, frowning at Giles. "I wouldn't count the money on that if I were you." She gestured to the register drawer that he had set on the glass display case. "It's very fragile and expensive to replace." She turned to Buffy. "He's right about the other thing. Demons don't usually care about such commercial holidays. Unlike mortals, Evil has its self respect." At this, Buffy pouted.  
  
Giles seemed satisfied that his theory proved conclusive. "I don't see what has given you reason to think otherwise."  
  
"You act as if my cheese craving a few years ago was just good advertising on behalf of the American Dairy Association," Buffy remarked.  
  
"Your turning into a rat was an isolated incident and hardly the act of any great plan," said Giles. "Xander's irresponsibility was to blame."  
  
"Yeah it was my irresponsibility's fault." Xander grinned sheepishly. "I've learned my lesson. No more spells for me."  
  
"He said as he poured through a spell book," Buffy commented, taking a seat next to him.  
  
"I'm just helping An with some inventory," he said defensively. "Besides, I don't need magick to make my Valentine's Day...magical. Anya's my right hand girl."  
  
"Well that must be a welcomed change of pace for a left hand bloke like yourself," said Spike as he entered from the basement.  
  
"Gosh Spike, you're one to talk considering the only way you could get a date for tonight is if you hit her over the head and dragged her back to your cave," Xander retorted. "Well, if you could still hit," he added smugly.  
  
"Crypt, you whelp," Spike corrected him. "I moved out of the cave a couple months ago."  
  
"Oh that's so much more romantic," was Xander's sarcastic reply.  
  
"We're talking about romance?" Willow asked as she strolled in and down the steps, a smiling Tara at her side.  
  
"Theme of the day," replied Xander.  
  
"Yes, please rescue us," Buffy pleaded. "What are our two favorite witches up to?"  
  
"We just came back from looking at the stuffed bears in the shop across the street," Tara said happily.  
  
Willow giggled. "We bought one dressed up like cupid that we can fly around the apartment tonight."  
  
"What are your plans?" Tara asked the group.  
  
"I have things to do, books to read," said Giles.  
  
"Me and Xander have books to read too." Everyone gave Anya a disbelieving look. "Yes, we're going to try out pages 52-68 tonight in the Ka--" Xander coughed loudly and shook his head at her. Obediently she stopped.  
  
They went on discussing various planned activities, Buffy tuned them all out.  
  
"So what are you doing tonight Slayer," Spike asked her quietly, trying to keep a nonchalant tone.  
  
"That's kind of the question before the court," Buffy sighed.  
  
"Why don't you stop by my place, I can help you with the patrolling."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I can handle what little fighting there will probably be. After that I'll just head home and battle Dawn for the chocolate that she got at school."  
  
"You sure? I could help if you needed it..."  
  
"Nah, it'll be like taking candy from a baby. Well, a baby that hogs the Reesee's Peanut Butter cups, but I can deal."  
  
"I meant with the patrolling, luv."  
  
"Oh." Buffy shook her head. "I don't think I'll need any back up tonight. I can do it solo."  
  
"Uh, I wouldn't be too flip, pet. There could be big baddies out tonight. Valentine's Day can sometimes set them off."  
  
Buffy frowned. "But Giles and Anya said that the demonic underground kinda stayed... underground for tonight."  
  
"Oh, well, that's true." Spike cursed himself and thanked God he couldn't blush. "I'm a bit out of the loop these days. They don't much care for me now that I pal around with the likes of you."  
  
Buffy remembered what Dawn said about how much Spike had given up and how he'd be alone tonight. "Well, maybe I could use some reinforcement. Just in case," she added hastily.  
  
Spike's lip twitched as he fought a smile. "Right then. See you after sunset?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "You betcha."  
  
She didn't seem to notice the bounce in his step as he went back through the doorway to the basement.  
  
"What was Spike here for?" asked Tara, pulling Buffy's attention from where the vampire had disappeared.  
  
"Oh, um," Buffy pondered aloud but drew a blank. "I guess he just came to see what I was doing tonight." Her puzzled gaze traveled back to the basement entrance.  
  
* * *  
  
Buffy trudged through the graveyard, tapping Mr. Pointy against her leather clad legs. She was failing in her attempts to keep her mind off the lack-of-a-honey Valentine's blues. "At least I'll be spending the holiday with someone who hates it as much as I do," she consoled herself as she opened Spike's crypt door.  
  
My funny Valentine...   
  
Buffy's eyes went wide at the sight that lay ahead. Red heart shaped balloons clung to the ceiling, while pink and white streamers were braided around the walls. There was even a red satin sheet thrown over the armchair.  
  
Sweet, comic Valentine  
  
You make me smile with my heart...  
  
"Oh my god. I just stepped into the Hallmark commercial from Hell," Buffy whimpered.  
  
"Neat isn't it?" Spike offered as he nervously stepped away from the record player that was blaring Frank Sinatra.  
  
"I was going to go with scary," Buffy said weakly as he straightened out the unbuttoned red shirt that he wore. "And I think I'm going to stick with scary."  
  
Your looks are laughable  
  
Unphotographable...  
  
"What's going on?" Buffy continued, becoming more frightened. "This is a spell!" She silently cursed Xander. She knew his oath to stay away from the dark arts wouldn't hold; after all, he was dating the proprietress of magick shop and his best friend was a witch.  
  
"It's not a spell, luv," he smiled at her. "Happy Valentine's day." Spike moved towards her, but she stepped back, making sure to keep a safe distance between them.  
  
Yet you're my favorite work of art...  
  
"It has to be," she stated. "Why else..." She thought back to his insistence that she stop by tonight. "Is this a *date*?!"  
  
"Do you want it to be?"  
  
Is your figure - less than Greek  
  
Is your mouth - a little weak  
  
"Are you out of your mind?" she spat out.  
  
"It's not so unusual." He took another step towards her. "Two people...in the workplace...feelings develop."  
  
When you open it to speak  
  
Are you smart?  
  
"The only feeling I'm developing right now, Spike, is nausea." Buffy tightened her grip on the stake in her hand. She looked over the decorations again and wrinkled her nose.  
  
Spike followed her gaze and took in the atmosphere. "Oh this? Yeah, you can thank the Nibblet for the keen party favors."  
  
Don't change a hair for me  
  
Buffy's eyes widened more. "Dawn was in on this?"  
  
"She was helping me," he explained. "Buffy I lov--"  
  
"Don't!" Buffy ordered, raising the stake threateningly. "Don't say it." She backed slowly towards the door. "I am going."  
  
Not if you care for me  
  
"Oh come on, we need to talk."  
  
"We don't need to do anything except create a large gap between us." Buffy shuddered. "And shower," she said. "Separately! Alone and separate showering."  
  
Stay little Valentine, stay!  
  
He bit his lip, a look of dejection etched on his features, as he watched her turn and run out the door.  
  
Each day is Valentine's day...   
  
* * *  
  
A BIG SURPRISE  
  
Spike sat on the tree outside Buffy's window, wondering how long it would be before she'd turn in for the night. He pulled a fag out of his duster and lit it. The window pulled up suddenly and Dawn poked her head out.  
  
She wore a defeated look on her face. "I heard it didn't go so well."  
  
"Really? Well you heard wrong, pet. It went great. I'm sitting out here with the squirrels because it went bloody marvelous." He took a drag of his cigarette and muttered something under his nonbreath.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said. He could tell she meant it by the way her bottom lip stuck out.  
  
"It's not your fault," Spike mumbled. "Where is she anyways?"  
  
"Well she got your little Valentine and went back out to find you and make it clear how she wasn't...," Dawn pulled the card out and read aloud, "... 'your darling sweetums.' God Spike, this card's so lame it should be taken out back and shot."  
  
"I never sent her any--" Spike snatched the card from her grasp, squinting pensively as he read.  
  
"What's the dancing worm part mean?" Dawn inquired. "I have a theory, but I didn't think that even you would write--" she stopped when she saw his concern quickly turn to fear. "What is it?" Dawn frowned.  
  
"Bloody hell!" He jumped to the ground and raced across the lawn. He heard the front door open as he made his way to the sidewalk.  
  
"Wait!" Dawn called to him, running to catch up.  
  
"Stay here Bit!" He didn't slow down but he turned his head to make sure she didn't follow. He saw Dawn's silhouette safely planted on the front lawn before he turned the corner.  
  
* * *  
  
Buffy threw the crypt door open, cursing herself for having to come back. The room was pitch black and eerily quiet.  
  
"What, no more music?" Buffy muttered under her breath.  
  
A cockney accent pierced the silence. "I'd sing for you my sweet slayer, but I've forgotten the words."  
  
Buffy spun in time to see Drusilla extend the cattle prod to her human flesh. And then Buffy felt the ground meet her skull as she fell unconscious.  
  
* * *  
  
Buffy tried to rub her sore head as she groaned awake, but found her movement restricted. It took only a moment to realize that she was chained to the wall, hands secured above her head, ankles bound together with rope.  
  
"What the hell?" She looked around the candlelit room, seeing a four poster bed and some scraps of furniture and realized that she was under Spike's crypt. "Dru...Drusilla," she began to remember.  
  
"Don't worry, Mummy's here," the dark-haired vampiress stepped into view. "Did you have a good nap?"  
  
"*Why* is Mu-- are you here?" Buffy seethed while tugging at the restraints, to no avail.  
  
"I've come for William. I want him back, you see. They say through a man's stomach is the way to his heart. So I suppose if I feed him yours, I'll win him over." Something glinted in the candlelight, and Buffy recognized the knife she had seen Spike holding the day before. But this time, it was Drusilla's painted nails that fingered the blade.  
  
Buffy groaned. She was in trouble, and of course it was Spike's fault. Dru advanced on the Slayer, the knife she held outward was getting dangerously close. Buffy tried to raise her tied legs but she was still too weak from the electrical shock.  
  
Suddenly, there was a thud and the vampire turned. "Spike! How lovely. You've made it just in time for the game."  
  
Spike looked over the scene at hand and tried to think quickly. "Oh? And what game is that, luv?" He asked this as if he were inquiring about the weather.  
  
Drusilla grinned evilly, her gaze dancing to Buffy. "We're going to see how long she'll stay alive while I cut her open."  
  
"Are we then?" he asked lazily. Buffy was startled to see the grin on Spike's face. He held out his hand, palm up. "Allow me. You've had all the fun so far."  
  
Dru's smirk faded. "Dear boy, I know you can't hurt her."  
  
Spike's amused expression disappeared as well and he swallowed unnecessarily. "What's that?"  
  
Her fingertips brushed his bleached strands. "They put a collar on you. Called you a bad dog, they did."  
  
"Yeah, I'm a trained puppy now Dru, but--"  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn screamed and hopped off the ladder. Three heads turned in the girl's direction.  
  
"Dawn get the hell out of here now!" Buffy commanded. Disobediently, the teen moved closer, but stopped at the sight of Drusilla, who cocked her head to the side.  
  
"Well, well little miss," Drusilla cooed, her eyes raked over Dawn. "Pretty thing you are. Do you shine inside?"  
  
Spike glanced from Buffy to Dawn, both wore a panicked expression. No one knew what Drusilla would do. That's the problem with crazy people, their actions are frustratingly unpredictable.  
  
Drusilla reached out and grabbed Dawn by the wrist, twirling the child into her until she was spooned up against the satin dress. She raised the sharp edge of the knife to Dawn's jugular. "A fleshy cup full of slayer's blood, that's all you are Dearie," she whispered into Dawn's ear.  
  
Buffy's features contorted in horror as she anticipated what was to come. Dawn closed her eyes and began to shake in fear, her breath coming in small spurts. But Drusilla never had the time to run the blade across Dawn's throat. The vampiress lurched forward and made a choking noise.  
  
"But Spike, the game...," she sobbed as her figure turned to dust and the knife clattered to the ground. Buffy's jaw dropped when she saw Spike holding the raised stake  
  
"Sorry baby," Spike said solemnly to the ashes. "You lost."  
  
Tentatively, Dawn opened one eye. "Am I dead yet?"  
  
Spike placed his hand on her shoulder. "You're fine Dawn."  
  
She looked down at her non-bleeding self and sighed thankfully. She ran to Buffy and threw her arms around her sister's neck. Tears of relief misted Buffy's vision, but she could still make out a nervous Spike loitering in the background.  
  
Slowly, he walked over to the two girls and carefully unchained Buffy from wall. He couldn't meet her gaze as he untied her, and when he finished he quickly moved to the ladder. Dawn stood to the side, silently glancing from one to the other.  
  
"I'm sorry Buffy," he said quietly. Before he could climb one rung, Buffy spoke.  
  
"Spike..."  
  
He turned to her, a pained look in his eyes. "You don't have to say anything."  
  
"Yes I do," she said as she limped to where he stood. The way she was looking at him made him step forward from the ladder.  
  
Dawn inched around them. "I'll meet you up top Buffy." She hurried up to the surface, eager to give them privacy and, of course, eavesdrop from above.  
  
"You killed her," Buffy said softly. "You killed Drusilla. You saved Dawn's life. If that were Angel, Angelus..."  
  
"You'd do the same thing to Peaches and you know it," Spike said. "Except he'd have been quicker about it. Something about loonies makes'em babble and drop their guard. I was lucky."  
  
"No Spike." Buffy shook her head. "I was lucky. To have a friend like you." She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. She parted them slightly so she could gently suckle his mouth. He was too deep in shock to be able to react, all he could do was watch her, awe-struck, as she pulled back.  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day, Spike." Buffy turned back to the ladder, but paused, as if there were something else that needed to be said. "Wanna come over for some hot cocoa?"  
  
~END~  
  
* * *  
  
My BtVS fanfic site: http://www.angelfire.com/ego/buffdom  
  
References  
  
1. mailto:Buffonia@hotmail.com 


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